This was a Facebook post from almost three years ago:
The morning with Jacob was Rough with a capital R! First wake up was 1 hour before I wanted to leave home. By all appearances, he slept great last night. He was sleeping so soundly that he did not want to get up. After a couple more times of me going into his room to get him moving, he finally arose.
Time to get dressed and I usually open a drawer and tell him to pick a shirt. Well today, he was bent on opening a different drawer and getting out a winter pajama shirt. While I steered him toward short sleeves, he’d jerk away whatever shirt I had in my hand, toss it and pull out a different shirt. Finally, after a wrestling match, I got him dressed. (And he put shirts back in the drawer as pictured.)
Do you know those games at the fair where you try to hit a moving target to win a big prize? I liken that to putting on Jacob’s socks. No joke. He is flailing around moving his foot back and forth, up and down, all around, and then curls his toes under. Once I’ve achieved getting a sock on, he may take it off only to start the process again. It feels like I should have won a gigantic teddy bear by the time I got both socks and shoes on today.
All this time, Jacob is being a bully. That is hard for me to say but there is really no other word to describe it. Strong arming me, swatting at me, making me sorry I woke him.
Once we get in the van, he is cooperative. Probably tired by now! I know I am. We’re buckled in and backing out and the toy that goes everywhere with him, WILL NOT play. UGH! Arggghhh!! I cut the van off and go back in the house to retrieve a working toy and change out the fobs on it (in case it gets lost).
Once at his day program, he sits in the van for 13 minutes refusing to get out. Different staffers come by and greet him, I tell him all sorts of reasons he needs to get out so that I can go to work. The van is cut off so he can’t watch a DVD or feel all comfortable while he waits, all the while, I am starting to get hot (in more ways than one)!
Once he exits and goes into the building, I am so frazzled that I drive to work in tears. I really wanted to just go home. I am wishing medical marijuana was legal in our state—for me, not him. Okay, maybe him. Rough morning I tell ya.
When I went to pick him up in the afternoon, he came right out and quickly got in the van. A staffer said, “Jacob went on a ride today. Across the spillway, by the fire station, the church, and across the spillway again. He had a good time and good day!”
For the second time that day, I drove away from SV in tears. But this time, happy tears. So thankful that while the easier thing would have been to let him stay home today, I didn’t. He enjoyed being the sole passenger as two staff members drove him around to take in the scenery and beautiful day. Thank you, Lord, for the little things that bring him pleasure and make my heart smile.
Win some, learn some.
I (we) have learned a lot through the years of parenting Jacob. Sometimes, we choose to let him have his way. Good or bad, it is the best solution some days. Don’t borrow trouble, focus on the situation at hand! Sometimes we use a bribe. Mini Hershey bars have come in handy when we need him to follow through on a task. Sometimes what seems like a lost cause, can turn into a win for all of us.
No matter how your day starts, when it ends, there was probably something you can list as a win and maybe you learned something along the way, too.
3 There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, 4 and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. 5 In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary – we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!Romans 5:3-5 MSG