“Sign me up for a trial.” Said no one.
Ever. Or, at least not me. The testimony of a friend who lost her young child to drowning relates that she is confident when she gets to heaven and God explains the ‘why’ that she’d be willing to go through it all over again. That has stuck with me for over 30 years. When I get to heaven and God’s plan is unfolded before me, I pray it reflects my faith when it comes to the ‘why Jacob’, ‘why me’, ‘why our family’, all of those ‘whys’ that come more often than I’d like to admit. I truly believe with everything I have that God orchestrated our family to bring glory to Him. And yet, some days I don’t want to take the test. Please not another rough day driven by autism. Hard, hard circumstances can make us crumble. But, remaining diligent pays off. I wrote this in my Bible but didn’t jot down the author: ‘Make up your mind before anything happens that you will count it all joy for you are joined with God. Joy is an experience that is happening on the inside. Blessed is to have God’s life—God’s character. God is able to teach us more lessons in the hardships than the happy times.’ I like that – MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Life with Jacob can be one trial after another. But, through it I’ve learned patience, forgiveness, creativity, compassion, tolerance, empathy, peace, humility, and so much more.
A chorus we sang in church years ago became my theme song.
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for meHe will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way
I remember discussions about giving up the dreams we had for Jacob. What would he ‘be’ when he grew up. Mike would always say, “I just want him to be happy”. His happiness, his joy is mine. Both come from Christ alone.
You may be in the middle of the hardest ‘test’ you’ve ever faced. I can promise you God will be with you. He’s been with us all along. He knows it isn’t easy. His arms are open wide to carry you when you can’t stand. James 1:2-3 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. And, from Romans 5:3-4 – Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Make up your mind and HE will make a way.